Live, Dream, Pray

Sadly, this diet hasn't been followed to a T.  As I suffer from IBS, I realized (with the help of my doctor) that raw veggies will only aggravate my gut.  Definitely not something I am willing to deal with to shed a few measly pounds.  I have however decided to eat healthier foods more often and drink water more often as well.   Lately, I have been drinking water with Crystal Light packets throughout the day.  It just makes me feel like I am actually doing something to reach my goal of being healthy.

Speaking of health, I have had trouble sleeping since before I got pregnant with my son (which was in 2010).  I can't fall asleep easily, even with the assistance of medications for that very thing, and when I do fall asleep, I can't stay asleep very long.  I go through periods of time where I wake up 1 or 2 times a night and the more often periods of waking up every 1 or 2 hours each night.  This makes for a very tired, unmotivated, and somewhat grouchy Summer!  I have had a lot of time to think about life as I know it, life as I wish it were, and life as I thank God it is not.  Which brings me to my next few words for you.

Life As I Know It
These days, being a single mama and all, I have very little me time.  I work all day at a doctor's office and come home to care for my son.  On days when he is with his daddy, I have a few hours to relax or study (when school is in session).  Each Tuesday night (with the exception of those nights I just can't stop reading my school books) I head to the B for TNT!  For those of you who don't know, Baptist Collegiate Ministries is an excellent organization.  They provide us with awesome people to love and cherish and a place (though it is not a necessity) to pray and worship our Lord!  TNT stands for Tuesday Nights Together:  a scheduled time of the week for all of us busy college students to meet and gather to worship and interact with fellow Christians on campus.  This place has been such a positive addition to my life.  I can only imagine where I'd be (or what my situation might be) had I not been introduced to Roger (the man I adopted as my Daddy).  On weekends, Kayden and I sit at home and he play with toys, makes messes, makes it difficult for mommy to get anything productive done.  I don't know how many episodes of various shows I have watched via Netflix on the Wii.  I don't typically meet anyone or do anything costing money or forcing me to go alone (ie, without my son).

Life As I Wish It Were
Every now and then I get frustrated with the day to day and the hustle and bustle that has become my life.  I dream of a life after I have graduated with a degree in Medical Assisting (sometimes I wish even further ahead and have become an RN).  In this perfect life, I get along constantly with my son's dad and have a nice car, a nice home that I am not afraid to live in, and a male companion.  He's out there somewhere (whether I've met him or not I don't know).  Everyday after work, I come home and play with my son, help him with his homework, have dinner as a family (which seems little, but means so much to someone who doesn't get that anymore), and we settle down and read books, talk about our days, pray for family and friends and whatever else we may want to talk to the Big Guy about.  As I get ready to tuck Kayden into his big boy bed (that he stays in all night long--afterall, it is a dream world), I tell him I love him and ask him to say his bedtime prayer.  Whatever he says is unknown, but the sincerity and innocence seen on his face is amazing.

Life As I Thank God It's Not
In this traggic life I am grateful I don't have, I don't have a job to guarantee financial security.  I don't have a great child care facility to leave my child at when I can't watch him.  In this sad scenario, I don't have the ability to worship freely the higher power of my choosing, I don't have the luxury of going to school, and I definitely don't have health insurance to meet the medical needs of my family.  I could go on and on for what I am grateful for having/not having, but I won't.

The End Result (Tie it together)
I don't have the life I desire, but it could always be worse.  Their are perks to being where I am right now.  I don't have to pay rent, I don't have a car payment, I don't live alone, I have a free place to sleep and my son is cared for by an excellent staff at daycare.  I get to go to bed at night knowing that I have done what I wanted throughout the day and I know that at the end of the day, I will not be jailed for worshipping my God.  I definitely think we should all take a few minutes of our day and pray we never have to worry about being jailed for practicing our faith.  Diversity is a great thing of our nation and religion is not excluded.  Whatever you do during the day, pray for a better self tomorrow :)