Single Mom versus Battlefield: Part 1

As a single mom myself, I can tell you that dating is a battlefield.  Not that I do much of it at all, lol.  After work and school throughout the week, when the weekend comes and my son is with his father (2 weekends a month and 2 evenings each week) I'm so drained that it's all I can do to motivate myself to change out of my pj's.  But back to my point.

In the 1 1/2 years I've spent being single again, I have dated a few men.  None of whom have tickled my fancy enough to keep my attention longer than a couple months.  I had a guy ask me a few days ago what qualities I desire in a guy/boyfriend/partner/whatever you call it.  My answer to him (with no hesitatation) was this:
1-Hardworking
2-Honest
3-Motivated to be his very best
4-Respectful of women
5-Willingness and ability to love myself and my child unconditionally. 

He then asked me what qualities I have that I can give a man.  My answer was this: The same as I expect from him!   It's that simple.  Other than those 5 basic things, I'm pretty flexible when it comes to men.  Maybe this is why I can't seem to pinpoint the reason none of my past relationships have been able to stand the test of time.

All I know is that I do eventually want to get married and stop wondering what my future will hold.  I'm not in any sort of a hurry though.  I'm enjoying the time I get to spend with my son--just the two of us.  I get to dress him up however I want (at least for a few more months) and we get to sing songs and dance like nobody's watching.  Which is probably a good thing since I can't do either well enough to want an audience lol.  I get to soak in every single time he says "thank you mommy" or "milk" instead of "water".  Just this evening as I was attempting to reinstall his carseat back into my car he tried to pick it up (as his uncle had taken him sledding earlier while I was at work so it was still inside) and said "I help you".  I have such a smart, handsome, and polite little boy to look at and interact with every single day.  And no man can ever change the way I interact with him, nor the amount of time I spend with him.

But, for all you women out there who are questioning your relationship's future and wondering if/when your guy is gonna commit/pop the question, and you're just not sure how to act or proceed, read the following paragraph... the article on the site is pretty legit too....

Don’t do anything!  Just wait and see what he does.  As Evan Marc Katz put it in this article, let him do what he wants.  If you like it, stay.  If you don’t, leave.  It’s that simple.  Now I’m not saying that he should call all the shots or be the only one to initiate contact/try to make plans.  I’m agreeing  with the previously mentioned guy in saying that if a man wants to see you more than once a week, he will.  If he wants to commit to you, he will.  If he wants to introduce you to friends/family, he will.  So long as you say yes.  Don’t pressure him and don’t nag him later if you don’t get what you want out of the relationship.  It’s not his fault if you stay around knowing that he only has time for you once a week or that he hasn’t broached the subject of marriage or the future.  If you’re unhappy with the way things are going, simply leave.  If you mean enough to him to fight for you to stay, then there you go.  If he lets you leave, there ya go.  I’ve never heard it put so simply before, but nothing else has ever made more sense than this either.

Let Them Be Little

Kayden has a birthday coming up in February.  He's going to be 2 years young!  It is so scary and crazy how quickly time passes us by.  When I think back to the day he was born, I can still picture everything so clearly.  I can see so much detail that I feel like I'm re-living those moments again.  And that was almost 2 years ago!!  I miss him being a little baby.  But, I'm also looking forward to the ways he will continue to grow and become who God has destined him to be. 

I don't want to miss another second of his young years because I can never get them back, no matter how vividly I can remember.  I have decided that I am going to focus more time on him, and less on facebook and pinterest.  When school lets out in 13 days, I will have an entire month to focus entirely on my son.  And I am going to take advantage of it 100%.

Every day between December 14th and January 14th, I will devote time to do something with Kayden other than just watching him play.  I'm going to let him go crazy with his markers.  I'm going to let him help me with laundry (because he loves it... lucky me!).  I'm going to let him stay up late and watch extra Elmo or extra Barney even though I want find the costume and burn it! I'm going to let him play in the bathtub longer than the time it takes me to get him clean.  I'm going to let him eat junkfood and dance like crazy just because it's cute.

These little things don't seem like much at all.  But when I think about our days since I've started school again, I can't remember the last time I just let him be himself.  We are always so rushed and so busy that I don't have the time to let him play in the bathtub.  And it makes me sad.  These simple things bring so much joy to Kayden that I can't believe I have taken them away from him because I've gotten so busy.

So, if you're reading this and have children then promise yourself and your children that you will MAKE time for the simple things in life.  Let go of all the structure and the silly rules for a few hours a week.  You'll feel better for it, and they'll have a ball :)